Is there anyone who will look through this (proofread) for me? It is only a few sentences.
It's the intro to a youtube video that I am making out of a picture book I have made. if you would like to help me you can use the comment possibility below this blog-post to post you corrections / suggestions.
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So this is my attempt on a picture book for kids about sex. Or more accurately: This is the video-slide-show-version of this book.
I guess it might upset somebody because it mixes at lest three element that can all bring up strong emotional responses.
1. The book is about sex.
2. The aimed audience is children.
3. The book takes on a spiritual approach the the subject.
I am not planing to be controversial here. The being controversial is just at side effect that I realize could probably emerge. What I have tried to do is simply to make a picture book that present the subject in the way that I would like to present it.
The style of the book is inspired by the Rudolf Steiner movement, but I do neither officially nor semi officially nor in any other way express my self on behalf of this movement. I just like that style.
The book is available for free as PDF for printing or e-book reading from:
www.mimoart.ooz.dk/silver
Hej Mikkel
SvarSletJeg vil lige se først, om jeg kan lægge min kommentar her uden videre.
Marie
Det gik jo fint.
SvarSletMikkel, jeg vil nøjes med at rette stavefejl, da jeg ikke er helt stiv i den engelske grammatik, bortset fra kommatering.
"I guess it might upset somebody because it mixes at least three elements, that can all bring up strong emotional responses.
1. The book is about sex.
2. The aimed audience is children.
3. The book takes on a spiritual approach to the subject.
I am not planning to be controversial here. The being controversial is just at side effect, that I realize could probably emerge. What I have tried to do, is simply to make a picture book that presents the subject in the way, that I would like to present it.
The style of the book is inspired by the Rudolf Steiner movement, but I do neither officially nor semi officially nor in any other way express myself on behalf of this movement. I just like that style.
The book is available for free as PDF for printing or e-book reading from:"
DER VAR IKKE RET MANGE FEJL, DER KAN DOG STADIG VÆRE GRAMMATIKALSKE FEJL, SOM JEG IKKE HAR OPDAGET.
Desuden er jeg i tvivl om udtrykket "my attempt on", om det er det rigtige i sammenhængen her. Men jeg ved det ikke og har derfor ikke et bedre bud.
Spændt på at se bogen.
Kh
Marie
Ser at jeg har overset to fejl:
SvarSlet'Just a side effect' (ikke 'at side effect').
og 'Rudolf Steiner Movement' (stort M).
Marie
Mange tak marie. Jeg googlede lige my "attempt on" og den gav 182.000.000 hits. Hvilket kunde tyde på at det er en ret udbredt vending. F. eks. "Flickr: Discussing My attempt on testing lenses in Mamiya 645". Men igen mange tak for hjælpen.
SvarSletMikkel
Hej Mikkel
SvarSletHer er lige et par forslag til ændringer:
1."So this is my attempt on a picture book for kids about sex." ....Forslag : " So this is my attempt on making a picture....
2. I am not planning to be controversial here.... Forslag : I am not planning on being controversial here..
3. "The being controversial is just at side effect," ... forslag: Being controversial is just...
4. "is simply to make a picture book that presents the subject in the way, that I would like to present it." ....forslag: is simply to make a picture book that presents the subject in the way I prefer...
Jeg glæder mig til at se bogen :-)
<3 Bente
Hej Mikkel
SvarSletJeg er enig med Bente i hendes 3 første forslag.
I de fleste eksempler på Google vises 'attempt on' efterfulgt af et ord, der ender på -ing, altså nutids tillægsform (f.eks. making). I ordbogen står det 'attempt at'= [forsøg på]. 'attempt to' = [forsøg på at].
@Bente. Kan 4. ikke siges på begge måder?
:)Marie
Hey - komma efter somebody i første linie;)
SvarSlet