Denne uges torsdagbrev skulle have været en en afslutning på sommertemaet om Kari Killén. Det skulle have været et interview/samtale imellem en kvinden som har fået tvangsfjernet to børn og mig. Samtalen kredser om hvordan de ting hun har oplevet i sin proces kan relateres til de ting vi er kommet frem til at forstå vedrørende Killéns teoridannelse og anvendelsen af den. Desværre kontaktede kvinden mig i går og sagde at hun ikke var parat til at interviewet blev publiceret. Det er en skam for det er et godt interview og det illustrerer veldigt fint hvad der er for nogle processer som er i spil og hvordan de virker i praksis. Jeg er dog naturligvis nød til at lade dette interview udgå af programmet når kvinden ikke ønsker det publiceret.
Status
Torsdags den 26/07/18 udgav jeg det første torsdagsbrev. Det er lidt over et år siden i dag. Jeg husker hvordan jeg ønskede dialog ønskede at gøre opmærksom på nogle problemer som jeg via mit forløb havde fået øje på. Husker hvordan jeg følte at det var svært at få hul igennem. Det er voldsomt hvad der er sket siden jeg gik i gang med aktivt, at udfordre og udforske omstændighederne omkring anbringelser af børn i Danmark. Jeg fik sat gang i dannelse af en forening og jeg fik etableret en fælles nordisk forening, jeg fik kontakt med en masse internationale aktivister, fik læst og sat mig ind i ting, lavet interview, lærte Kari Killéns datter at kande og senest er jeg blevet del af en lille gruppe som arbejder sammen internationalt omkring modarbejdelse af unødvendige og korruptionsbetingede anbringelser af børn og som arrangerer en verdensomspændende demonstration den 7 september. Jeg er stolt og glad over dette forløb og over Torsdagsbrevet ét års fødselar :-)
Demonstration
Som sagt er der demonstration i Aarhus og København og i hen ved 40 andre byer i 16 forskellige lande i hele verden den 7 september. Planlægningen af denne event fylder meget for mig lige for tiden og derfor vil jeg gerne bruge resten af dette torsdagsbrev, på den pressemeddelelse jeg er i gang med at lave for demonstrationen
Internationale demonstrationer imod Norges dydfunktionelle børnebeskyttelsessystem
- Danmark benyttes samme system -
I mere end 40 byer fordelt på 16 lande demonsteres der den 7. september imod det norske "Barnevernets" ideologi. "Barnevernet" er navnet på Norges officielle børnebeskyttelsesinstans, men hvad er årsagen til at norsk børnebeskyttelse har vagt sådan en harme og opsigt over hele verden? 80 % af alle de børn som blive tvangsfjernet i Norge bliver ikke fjernet på grundlag af reelle problemer som vanrøgt, vold eller misbrug. De bliver fjernet på grundlag af en teoretisk model omhandlende tilknytningsteori og forældrekompetencer. En model som ikke rummer faste og konkrete holdepunkter for hvornår en tvangsfjernelse er berettiget og som derfor lægger hele spørgsmålet op til sagsbehandlerens fortolkning. Sagsbehandlerne er bange for at gøre fejl og være skyld i at børn svigtes så de vælger meget ofte det som forekommer dem som den sikre løsning nemlig tvangsfjernelse af børnet også selv om der er tale om ubetydelige problemer. Samtidig ser det ud til at der er grupperinger og enkeltindivider som tjener penge på anbringelserne. Der tales om en anbringelses industri. Det har ført til et højt antal af tvangsfjernelser hvor børn fjernes og fastholdes i anbringelse uden der er et reelt behov for det. I mange tilfælde fjernes børn fra og velfungerende forældre. Denne tendens til, at gribe ind og fjerne børn uden et reelt grundlag for det har vagt opsigt. Menneskerettighedsdomstolen har taget hele 26 sager op til behandling vedrørende det norske "barnevernet" og en hel masse mennesker verden over har besluttet sig at gå på gaden i protest imod "Barnevernets" ideologi. I Danmark har vi særlig god grund til at demonstrere. Vores system er nemlig næsten identisk med det norske og i Danmark tvangsfjernes der også mange børn som med fordel kunne være blevet i hjemmet. Særlig fastholdes børn i anbringelse uden behørig hensyntagen til at forholden i hjemmet er ændret og hjemgivelse er blevet mulig. Derfor går vi på gaden den 7. september i København og Aarhus og i over 40 andre byer i Norge, Østrig, Litauen, Bulgarien, Spanien, Serbien, Rusland, Italien, Canada, USA, Irland, New Zealand, Polen, Tyskland og Rumænien.
Igennem denne sommer har jeg beskæftiget mig med teoretiker og fagbogsforfatter Kari Killén hvis teorier har afgørende betydning for den måde vi i Danmark og mange andre lande tolker behovet for et gribe ind i en familie og fjerne børn med tvang. De første to interviews/samtaler var på engelsk, og så har vi lavet et på dansk som kommer lidt omkring de samme emner, som de to engelske, men som også bringer lidt andre emner og vinkler på banen.
Jeg blev af en bekendt opfordret til at indsætte link til den video med Kari Killén som Mette referer til i starten af vores samtale. En video jeg tidligere har linket til. Jeg har indlejret videoen her under og er straks dybt fascineret af at set Mettes ansigt og Karis ansigt i næsten sammen vinke lige over og under hinanden.
This is the last Thursday letter for my summer theme about Kari Killén that is in English. The end of the summer theme will be followed by a small appendix of the summer theme in Danish. These appendices will be published the next two Thursdays and will contain two interviews. I want to use the current Thursday letter to follow up on some things that I have discovered and considered during this summer. Mainly things related to a search on the social network Instagram via the hashtag #KariKillén. It turned out that there were things to be found about Kari Killén on Instagram. Here it was mostly students who mentioned Kari Killén. Some were talking about study books and some had been photographed with her in connection with a course or a seminar. There were several pictures of Kari Killén in Greenland in connection with course activities so Killén's methods are obviously widespread in Greenland as well. I have chosen a small text that a student posted on Instagram together with a picture. The image and text has been uploaded to the profile "uc_syd". "uc_syd" is the instagram profile of an education centre in the Danish town of Esbjerg. Students can put up posts on the centre's profile and a young female student did exactly that on 20/10/2016. Here is what she wrote: (The text is translated from Danish the original Instagram post is her )
"I can come in late today, as we have joint dinner in the Family House on Thursdays. My morning will be about writing up my internship assignment, Kari Killén is a big part of the Family House, so much of the theory in my assignment comes from her. Our work is based on her theories, in addition, she is my manager's sparring partner, so if there is a family that we are very concerned about, Kari will gladly receive a video clip we recorded of the parents (they sign when they arrive at the house if they agree to be videoed or not. They can then tick whether the clip should be deleted as soon as we have seen it with the family, whether it can be saved up to 6 months, so we can show it to the family again before departure so they can see their and the child's development, and the last box says it can be used for the education of professionals, but not people who know the family) and then Kari reports back to my manager whether we were right in our concern or not. I was so lucky that I was on a course with her a few months ago concerning exactly what we are working with in the Family House.
#ucsyd #ucssydkolding #praktikiudlandet # KariKillén"
There are several interesting things in this text. You can see in this text that Killén's theories are being lived out in the Family Houses (Danish official family institutions). It is also clear that the head of the department in this specific Family House in Denmark has direct communication with Killén regarding specific cases and that sometimes video recordings of parents and children were sent to Kari Killén in order to have her evaluate whether the assumption about the family was right or wrong. This is all contributing to the picture of a highly theoretical way of evaluating the child's needs. Killén and her disciples are not concerned with matters that can be measured, weighed or otherwise proven. They work on behalf of a highly abstract concept of what parenting and child welfare is and they promote the idea that Killén and the people that have studied her theories are able to discover parental problems that other people cannot see. The #karikillén hashtag on Instagram led me to very clear proof of this. A picture of this book.
You don't see it until you believe it
- A writing for children's rights
by
Inga Marte Thorkildsen
This title that I believe was made by one of Killéns disciples so clearly states that we are dealing with a concept of child neglect that cannot be seen unless you have the special skills to see it. The problem with such a concept is that it implies divine insight by the professionals who know the theory. Decisions made by such professionals cannot be discussed or doubted because they are brought foreword by a person with the ability to see what uninitiated people cannot see. That might be alright in the case that the professional was actually a person with divine insight. Unfortunately that does not seem to be the case. Killéns theories do not seem to be the direct path to the truth. Rather it seems to be
pretty unprecise and unscientific pseudoscience that lends itself to various kinds of manipulation, giving justification to forcefully split up a family without having any literal prove of abuse or neglect. I would have loved to end this Thursday letter with a short CV about Kari Killén - a short reference of her life since I was not able to find such a reference when I started my research. Since I now have met her daughter, I am in the position to get the information it needs to make one. Unfortunately I don't have the time to do it right now. I will leave this very interesting summer theme for now, at least the English version of it. From next week however, I will continue the Kari Killén theme in Danish for a little while.
So hello this is the second episode of my conversation with Mette Heap who is the daughter of Kari Killén, and Kari Killén is the theoretical that I am exploring for this summer. I have a summer theme of Kari Killén and I have gone to the west coast of Jutland to visit Mette. We had a conversation last time about her and her mother and and life and considerations this time we are going to focus on.... Well I have one theme that I like to follow and that is that Kari Killén seems to be an artist in splitting. That was kind of my wording of this. I had that picture when I talked with Mette. I see the threat of a splitting strategy that by splitting she gets herself into a power position and maybe also this thing about seeing the vulnerability of this most deep connection between a child in a parent and the possibility of taking on power by using the weakness and softness in that position. The theories in these written books are facilitating a power overtake by splitting. That was my approach of this second interview, and I wanted to kind of see if I could follow or I had this idea that we have a young woman that comes into life and that she finds some strategies for the personal life that she would refine and refine. Eventually it will become a whole theoretical theme and she has done what she has done very successfully if you think of positioning herself with power... That was kind of the thread I wanted to follow. Mette I have here on the other side was also wanting to follow a trace of her professional life what she has seen of results of this way of thinking. We will see if we can navigate these stories if we can make out some pattern and also just go along with what we seem to discover. We could start with me that you could accept the term the master of splitting or turning splitting into an art form first when I said it you said to me "splitting will never be in art form" hahaha I said yeah.. If you refine something it is an art form and I guess we kind of agreed but you also had an emotional reaction to it you wouldn't accept that because you found it very negative you said to me something yesterday you'd been in a court case or Court situation with your mum
Mette:
no not with my mum but with her theories so she could have been there
Mikkel:
and you said that you knew what you could expect. You knew because you knew the way of thinking. You knew all the things that would be followed in this structure of damaging and making the person look as being wrong in certain concepts. I said yeah you know that from your professional background and you know that from your personal experience from your life because you have seen these strategies lived out throughout your childhood
Mette:
but without calling it an art form
Mikkel:
without calling it an art form talking about making splitting into a what? A strategy that is?
Mette:
it works... Because when you split people and they don't speak together and they don't communicate together. That gives power to the splitter.
Mikkel:
do you think you could make that work too if you went on that path?
Mette:
I would never walk that path, because I'm not that kind of person
Mikkel:
a lot of people... Say that because I've been through this you've been through a lot of things are very similar actually even though your kids were not taken by authorities but you've been through very similar things. I can say that it feels like that strategy that would be Kari Killéns strategy, is actually transferred into people that read this (clapping the book that he's sitting with). They really read that there are certain kinds of people with certain behavior, and if you are able to recognize that behaviour you should intervene and do stuff in their lives with their kids and you have the right to do that because you recognize that pattern. They become what should I say evil . We have some kind of an evil pattern where your compassion or your normal way of thinking your ways of solving problems ok your child has this and that problem. Let's see what we can do. Do you have some examples from your perspective you can mention?
Mette:
yeah I in 2013 a mother contacted me. She had just been diagnosed sclerosis and she was alone with two kids think 1/2 and 3 years old. She didn't have any family network because her parents were addicted to alcohol and drags. The father of the two girls was in and out of prison also because of drugs and there was no contact to hum. She contacted me to ask me to help her to have her working skills evaluated. And after short time I sort of catched that she had a much bigger problem than that.
Mikkel:
were you supposed to evaluate her?
Mette:
no no I was just supposed to represent her. she didn't get the rest she needed especially in weekends or holidays. She had daughters all the time, so she could rest in the middle of the day
Mikkel:
and she will need a little more rest than normal
Mette:
much more... So we contacted the City Council to ask practical help and help with the children... Never happened after 1 1/2 years nothing really had happened. The family consultant came out and criticized her and wrote a lot that was not correct
Mikkel:
you come around and you point the finger at things that are not good and that the person is perfectly aware of not being good and there is no real reason to point the finger at that
Mette:
no that's why she asked for help but she didn't get any help just criticism.
Mikkel:
yeah I tried that
Mette:
yeah and she got weaker and weaker of course because she didn't get her rest her sclerosis was developing and in this process she met a nice man who lived in a different Council. The previous City Council sent a report to the new City Council and then suddenly things went really fast. She went into hospital with an attack and the day after she got home they were supposed to go on a holiday place for five days with two family consultant who were sort of to observe her and that was when I for the first time really realized what it was to frustrate the parents un purpose she could hardly walk and her balance was totally out of order.
Mikkel:
it's upsetting
Mette:
and they wanted her to go to the swimming pool with her two daughters which she did. Only so they could describe that she didn't give the girls any notice and that she appeared to be obsessed with their own safety. But why? She tried to protest and said “I can't do this” and they said well this is an everyday thing
Mikkel:
yeah you should be able to do this.. But if she was able to do everything that every parents are able to do, she wouldn't be in this situation.
Mette:
so a big report comes out of these days where our protest to this report was about as many pages as the report itself, which says a lot about the lies and manipulations. A family consultant came to observe in their own home. One evening this mother called me and said they asked her to come for a meeting the next day. I couldn’t go as I had a meeting in the other side of the country. I asked her if she wanted me to move her meeting - no it's probably just a status thing I can do this myself. On my way home I had a crying mother in the phone. They had decided to forcefully remove both girls, to two different foster families.
Mikkel:
although for me and probably also for you it's just everyday stories. I talked to the people and I have a lot of contact and it's it's just this is normal. Still when you tell this in this moment and you listen to it, it touches you right? it's horrible it's horrible for this woman who has health problems, and they put stress on her on purpose and they end up taking her kids and they end up splitting them it's sad yeah.
Mette:
And she has a couple of hours with them every second week but not together. The foster families meet about once a month so the sisters can spend time together.
Mikkel:
They to make sure that they will not be able to make a connection and rebuild a family
Mette:
the two foster families meet once a month I think, where they are together for a couple of hours. Now it starts to become interesting because the mother wants them more and more home so one of them is coming home in August for 3 1/2 to 4 hours every third week. Beside of that they get to spend time together in a family house where they have been so far and I think ..well if you really want to confuse the child this is the way to do it where am I going to be with Mum next week?? am I going home or...?
Mikkel:
exactly everything that you didn't want you know you want to make a safe environment that they can predict and it's a stressful environment
Mette:
so they give them even more insecurity than they had before and the social worker told one of the foster parents that the mother needed to be more involved in her daughter's life ... Like coming to activities in kindergarten and coming to meetings in school in kindergarten and the foster mother said no there are no activities
Mikkel:
there are no activities? ... So the foster mum says that?
Mette:
yeah she said that there are no activities
Mette:
she loses money if this ends with her getting her back home to her biological mother.
Mikkel:
can I draw a line here to something that I've seen from my history in this? The idea here is that the social worker puts the blame on her... On the mom. And the advantage of that is that they don't have any responsibility because actually what a social worker should be doing is to come in then give some support so that the situation can walk out and what we see here is the way of distancing you... " well this is your problems I'm not going to deal with that you better fix it and I'm going to stress you while you trying to fix it,, so that we can see how that you are actually at it" and then again it takes the front back you know. I see this pattern of behaviour from Kari Killén this kind of way this theory allows for this. To make this person have so much trouble over here so they don't discover the trouble over here.
Mette:
it's also like paragraph 54 in law of social service you have the right to have a contact person if your child is forcefully removed. According to that paragraph the contact person has to work loyally to the authorities. What kind of help is that?
Mikkel:
yes exactly
Mette:
This mother wanted me as that contact person which I was for a while until I reach the point I said " I will help you but no way I want to get paid to shut up so I had it in my resignation. I said don't want this anymore but I'll be there for her I'm not going to accept any more crap
Mikkel:
which could have brought you into trouble you know there are lawsuits now against people who take up that role who has knowledge who has insight and who go against the commune
Mette:
will they can bring it on
Mikkel:
I realise when we sit and talk here that there was one of the subjects that I wanted to explore maybe actually already in the first interview but never mind that I have not touched upon all gone into and that is is woman Kari Killén seems to be lying a lot. Or what?
Mette:
well that could also be a kind of art
The last ten minutes not yet transcripted it will be ready in a few days.
Hello, I am Mikkel. I am sitting here next to Mette. She will introduce herself in a minute.
The reason why I am sitting here, is that I have had my children taken into custody forcefully by the authorities. I did not give my consent at any point. When I became ready to have my children back, the system was for some reason not ready for that to happen.
About a year ago, I became an activist in a very explicit and constructive way. It was never in an aggressive way. I tried to tell people, that we have a social system in Denmark that doesn’t work. I tried to create awareness about his by investigating the area.
I will also say here, that normally when we speak together we do that in Danish. However I have chosen for this interview to be in English. Partly because Mette is half English. But mostly because this subject is of international interest.
The Human Rights Court has taken up 26 cases. They already had 16 cases, and have taken up 10 more. All of these cases are from Norway and about children taken into foster care.
This is unheard of, this is a lot og families and children. CBN an American Broadcast Channel, has broadcasted a program about what is happening in Norway.
Norway and Denmark are very similar in the way they work in this area. I think a very central reason for this, is the way Kari Killéns theories have been implemented in the legal system. She is a scientist in the area of child welfare, or at least a woman who wrote a lot of books. These books you have to read, in order to become a social worker in Denmark, Norway and Sweden.
The special thing is that Kari Killéns theories have gone into the aw system. I used to say that the the law does not judge on behalf of the Danish law of Social Service. But the law judges on behalf of Killéns concept of bad parenting, I am not sure if she came up with the concept, but she is certainly advertising it.
In my investigation, I write a letter every Thursday, and I have been focusing on the subject of Kari Killén, which I chose to write about. The day after, I was contacted by a woman who had read this letter. That was you Mette, and I would like you to tell a little about the reason you contacted me.
Mette:
I contacted you because your way of analyzing her theories and methods spoke to me. I could se the same things when I am out working in the field.
Mikkel:
Working in the field of?
Mette:
Well, the social field
Mikkel:
You work as a?
Mette:
Legal advisor and consultant
Mikkel:
You are a lawyer?
Mette:
A lawyer not a barrister
Mikkel:
And you have had cases about children being forcefully removed?
Mette:
Well, for a year I was in a family department in west Jutland, where my job was to tidy up in these kinds of cases. There had been no legal work done at all.
Mikkel:
You have another reason to know something about Kari Killén. Will you tell me a little about that?
Mette;
She is my mother
Mikkel:
She is you mother?
Mette:
Yes
Mikkel:
Alright, you are not exactly pulling in the same direction it seems.
Mette:
No, I am pulling in the opposite direction. I am confused. I se children who should be removed, that are not removed. I se children who should not be taken away from their parents who are taken away from their parents. I experience that when the children start spending time with their parents a couple of hours about every second week, the family consultants are not supportive, and things are written that are not true.
Mikkel:
So they want to break down the attachment?
Mette:
That is my over all impression
Mikkel:
Why do you think they want that?
Mette:
I think it’s all about money. Also the foster parents talk about bad reactions after the children have spent time with their biological parents. This is also about money.
Mikkel:
So they want to keep the children?
Mette:
Yes. They get payed to have the children, so they have no interest in being a part of helping the children to come home to their biological family.
Mikkel:
So it’s about money?
Mette:
Yes
Mikkel:
Do you think that Kari Killéns theories are giving a way of supporting this non constructive way of remining the children in care? Do you understand what I mean?
Mette:
That is what I see. In one of her books she writes about frustrating the biological parents on purpose in order to see how they handle stress. As if it is not enough pressure to be observed and maybe loose your child.
Mikkel:
Laughing
Mette:
So we put just a little more evil into it on purpose, just to stress them and see how they react. That is evil.
Mikkel:
Mette… you s hould think that a woman who is able to tell all of Scandinavia what is appropriate or not appropriate in order to be a good parent, would herself be a good mother with a strong attachment to her children. Is that the case?
Mette:
Well, I don’t know. I was actually molested for years by a man from our street, as were many other children. Also I was molested by a family member.
Mikkel:
While you grew up?
Mette:
Yes while she was busy writing her famous books
Mikkel:
So big contrast here between what you want to sell yourself as or present and what is actually going on in her life
Mette:
Definitely
Mikkel:
Did you know anything about what you mum was doing at that time?
Mette:
Not really. Well I knew she was writing. And I remember I saw a picture of a child who had been burnt with an iron. I commented it, and I remember her answering that I should be so thankful for the life I had. I have burnt myself many times since by accident, and I would rather be burnt by an iron than growing up with her.
Mikkel:
So she didn’t notice you or maybe ignored you?
Mette:
I don’t know, but I am not sure what those books are worth
Mikkel:
It is some of the most serious kind of neglect if you don’t help a child who is suffering. I guess that years of sexual abuse is pretty massive. You either have to be not very good at noticing what is going on, or you ignore/neglect?
Mette:
She was not very good at sensing what was going on
Mikkel:
So she was busy looking for mistakes of other parents…..
Mette:
Yes but she never did anything wrong
Mikkel:
No I can that there is nothing wrong here, ha ha…..Is that the story of keeping up appearance? Should everything look nice and perfect?
Mette:
Yes but as she said herself on a Youtube Video you never notice the middle class kids.
Mikkel:
And she didn’t notice?
Mette:
No, apparently not
Mikkel:
Have you confronted her later?
Mette:
Yes, she admits that she didn’t notice that I was abused. The problem is that she thinks I am mentally ill because I was abuse, and therefore I do not have reasonable reactions. In that way she makes me a victim the second time around, and that makes me angry. She never considers that I could be angry just because she is an arrogant b….
Mikkel:
Is that how you se her? As an arrogant b…?
Mette:
Yes
Mikkel:
So she is not like this warm family person?
Mette:
Well, maybe with her grandchildren
Mikkel:
Alright, but she didn’t like you?
Mette:
No, I don’t think so
Mikkel:
For some reason
Mette:
And I don’t like her
Mikkel:
Very early or what?
Mette:
Yeah
Mikkel:
Ha ha she talks about that there is violence og obvious neglect like signs or marks. And then she talks about the emotional neglect, which is much more serious, like not noticing, not seeing.. being cold, or not acknowledging that a child is being abused.
Mette:
Well I think that all the moves from Norway to England, back to Norway, then to Denmark and then back to Norway, she never understood how hard that was for me.
Mikkel:
A lot of moving around. So I guess that Kari Killén attachment theory, would imply a solid ground root. But you never had a chance to get yourself rooted, and thereby building a steady identity.
Mette:
No
Mikkel:
And you like Denmark?
Mette:
Yes
Mikkel:
And for some reason that was here you wanted to be, and you went back here when you turned 18.
Mette:
I think the years from you are 8 to you are 12 are very important. So I went back to Norway feeling like a Dane, and I never felt Norwegian again.
Mikkel:
And you speak very well Danish. I was surprised when you contacted me, that a Dane could be the daughter of Kari Killén, but seeing you from the side, there are some facial similarities.
Mette:
I would prefer to look like my father
Mikkel:
You do ha ha…. And your father is Ken Heap, who is English
Mette;
Was
Mikkel:
Did he become a Danish citizen?
Mette:
No
Mikkel:
But he lived here for some years in Denmark?
Mette:
Yes for about his last 20 years. After he divorced my mother he married a Danish woman, and they lived in Lyngby.
Mikkel:
But you lived together for how long?
Mette:
I lefts when I was 18, at that point my parents were still married. They got divorced when my daughter was 2½ years old.
Mikkel:
So in your younger periode, where you were not experiencing that you mother was being the best mother for you, did you know the meaning of her work?
Mette:
No, I realized the meaning of her work, when I was working in the family department, tidying up their mess. Then I had to read he books, and I was very surprised about the power her theories had. I was there from 2002-2003.
Mikkel:
But you didn’t know or understand before that, that your mother actually was that important and powerful a person?
Mette:
No, that’s why I had to read her books
Mikkel:
So you are sitting there with 50 cases, that has not been through any court process, while the kids have been taken, and your are sitting there with piles of papers?
Mette:
Yes, the social workers had just made their own conclusions
Mikkel:
Actually at that time you were on the same side of the table as your mum
Mette:
At t hat point I realized that I was actually tidying up after my mums disciples.
Mikkel:
And at that point you decided that you wouldn’t continue this work?
Mette:
Well, it was a project, and when I had solved what needed to be solved, I left
Mikkel:
I am just thinking now, could you have been the one who made the difference?
Mette:
Thinking back I could, if I had the courage to do so
Mikkel:
So you should have stayed? You should have been reforming?
Mette:
No, I left when the project was done, and I didn’t look back
Mikkel:
In fact you have an upbringing that could have been like one of Kari Killéns cases. Asa social worked you would in that case definitely intervene. No one notices that slip through the system. Nobody noticed you, and then at some point you decided to study law.
Mette:
I went for an interview at the social worker school in Aarhus, and they said it would be an honor to have me there.
Mikkel:
Because of Killén?
Mette:
Yes and Heap, they had both been teaching there
Mikkel:
What age were you
Mette:
About 21
Mikkel:
So actually it wasn’t because you realized that there was something completely wrong here? You were just surprised?
Mette:
Yes it freaked me out
Mikkel:
So it wasn’t something you wanted to be related with?
Mette:
No I didn’t want to walk in their footsteps or being compared to them
Mikkel:
So you decided not to go that way
Mette:
Yes, so I chose to study law, and then I could use my education in the social area.
Mikkel:
You wanted to work in the social area. Were you an idealist? Did you see things that should have been done better?
Mette:
I think I still am. For a while I was working voluntarily with refugee families. Also there I experienced family consultants, who did not understand og try to understand cultural differences in relation to how to raise children.
Mikkel;
Yeah so you decided to become a lawyer, I think it needs a lot of studying
Mette:
It does
Mikkel:
And you had the energy to do all that studying?
Mette:
Yes, but I couldn’t have done it today, that’s for sure
Mikkel:
Is that because you have changed or because the system has changed?
Mette:
I think it was so hard because my daughter was one year when I started, and during the last year at University I had my son, so I had to use all of my time studying while they were sleeping.
Mikkel:
And how was your life at that point? You had a fairly rough upbringing. Being sexually abused for years is rough. If we follow Kari Killéns way of thinking, your upbringing should have an impact. But yet you seemed to live a fairly functional life also with a willpower.
Mette:
Well, I had a depression after a became a mother, and I was in therapy for about 5 years.
Mikkel:
Was your mother supportive at that time?
Mette:
Actually she payed my therapy until my parents got divorced. Then she would only pay half of my therapy if my father payed the other half. I didn’t want to get stuck in the middle, so from thereon I payed myself.
Mikkel:
So you had a fairly good relation at that point?
Mette;
Yes, when they got divorced she became so pathetic, was helpless and enjoyed her grandchildren.
Mikkel:
We are trying to do to interviews, one focusing on Mette´`s upbringing, and another focusing on the theoretical impact seen in relation to this. We have now reached half an hour. Thank you for watching and thank you for the interview about your life.
Kari Killén summer theme part 2
Road trip or when theory becomes law
This week's Thursday lette describes a journey. The journey began with the Thursday letter I wrote on 1st July about Kari Killén. Kari Killén is the most prominent theorist in the field of child protection in Norway, Denmark, Greenland and apparently also Sweden, although there seems to be less evidence of the practical implementation of her theories in Sweden than in Denmark and Norway.
My engagement with Kari Killén's work led me to travel with my girlfriend to the west coast of Jutland to visit a person who has in-depth knowledge of Kari Killén. A woman who contacted me after I posted the abovementioned Thursday letter.
After the initial contact was made we chatted over messenger and agreed that my girlfriend and I should go to visit her where she lived. We also agreed to make two video-recorded conversations that will be brought out as "Thursday letters" in connection with my Killén theme. The illustrations refer to the journey my girlfriend and I made through the countryside by bus and train and the text refers to our journey through written or video recorded material that shed light on Killén's background and theories.
To gain insight into an author's body of work, background and legacy whilst also trying to understand the private person behind it all in just a few weeks is quite a task. One advantage I had however, was that having been a client in the system for over 7 years, every cell of my body knew how it felt to be objected to these theories and this gave me something to base my research upon.
My first research question was whether or not Kari Killén's theories were unique. Whether she had created the ingenious puzzle of attachment theory, neurological science, developmental research, social research and trauma research that her theoretical principles were supposedly built upon.
My conclusion was that they are certainly not.
This theoretical spectrum it seems had been picked up by Kari Killén in England in the sixties when she took an education to become a social worker.
Professor Peter Fonagy is a Hungarian-born British psychoanalyst and clinical psychologist. His theories describe a lot of the things that Killén refers to. I am not saying that Killén explicitly references Peter Fonagy. I am just using it to show that there is a selection of theories developed in England that feature all of the concepts Killén promotes in her books.
It is clear that there has been an academic environment in the UK which connected attachment therapy with other psychological and neurological research areas and transferred it into a framework for understanding parental abilities.
The theories that she promotes are not her own, nor does she claim that they are. She claims to have contributed with practical studies that affirm and support the theories (a very questionable claim in fact, but that is another story), but she does not claim to have contributed to the actual theoretical formation itself.
If Killén's theoretical contribution is not new or groundbreaking then what is it that makes her so significant in the field of child protection?
One may suggest that she brought this selection of theories back with her from England to the Nordic countries, formulated this knowledge into a system and then wrote some very thick books which, regardless of their (in my opinion) shallow content, appear convincing, thorough and solid.
At the same time she teaches and lectures across Scandinavia with her charisma, energy and charm.
All these things, however, could not be considered the most significant part of her influence. The most important thing she adds is power.
Power or "authority" as she names it
She writes:
"Intervention - professional and formal authority
One can hardly speak of treatment in this context without introducing the concepts of intervention and professional and formal authority. Herein lies a realization that it is often necessary to take direct initiative to get into a cooperative position with families in risk of lack of care. The parents are unlikely to be open for help, at least not when the problems are about neglect and abuse. Many want help, but the taboos associated with their problems prevent them from taking the initiative. Many of the parents also use survival strategies to prevent them from receiving help. This applies, for example. denial, trifling, aggression and projection (see neglect 1, chapter 6). Parents usually take inital contact themselves when they are finding that the children are difficult."
Killén has succeeded in integrating her theories so closely with the authorities that in Denmark and Norway, in practice, the system can sanction on the basis of a risk profile based on Killén's theory.
This is noticeable. In Denmark and Norway you can intervene in a familie's life with force without being seen to violate the law and without the need for concrete proof of neglect or abuse. Authorities can intervene in a familie's life using a risk profile alone. A risk profile based on an analysis which is based upon Killéns theories and methods.
Kari Killén manages to join hands with the people in power and she manages to take power into her own hands.
The power of being able to determine who is good enough to parent their own children and who is not.
What is it in Kari Killéns nature that make this possible? We may learn more about that when we meet the person that I visited in Jutland and whom I am going to feature in the next Thursday letter.
Introducing the summer theme and the sudden change to English
Since last Thursday's letter I have decided to make a whole summer theme about Kari Killén and I have decided to change the language from Danish to English during this time as I believe this topic is of international interest.
I received some interesting feedback on last week's Thursday letter about Kari Killén.
One persons feedback in particular made a strong impact on me. A person who had a thorough knowledge of Killén's life and approach contacted me last week after she had read the Thursday letter and we then had a message exchange that lasted several days.
Last week's Thursday letter received more visits than any other Thursday letter I've made.
- Kingdom of Killén -
This week's post will try to give the reader an impression of just how influencial Killén's theories have been on all aspects of the child welfare system in the Nordic countries.
Let me start with a statement.
My claim is that when a child is taken into care in Denmark or when legal decisions are made about keeping a child in care, it is not really the written law that is used as a foundation for the decision, it is in reality an assessment of Killén's theories that the decision is based upon.
If this is true, it says something about how influencial Killén's theories are in Denmark.
We are dealing with a theory that in practice has become a law.
I would like to point out some areas within the field of the child welfare system where I see significant influence from Kari Killén's theories.
A few weeks ago, journalist and social worker Puk Sabber, through a Facebook status, led me on the track of two documents that the Danish social authorities had released explaining how to find legal evidence for adoption without consent. I´ve linked the two documents below. They are in Danish.
Both of these documents represent a concept that is almost identical to Killén's theory. Killén is even mentioned as inspiration in one of them.
In my own journey through the system as a parent, nothing has hurt me more than the first comprehensive "parental capacity assessment" that I went through.
It was not the fact that the authorities decided to take my children into care that hurt me, it was the human devaluation that I experienced during the "parental capacity assessment".
I have spent a long time trying to understand and analyze which criteria these assessments are based upon and why they are as they are.
When I encountered Killén's lectures and publications I could see where the entire concept of this "parental capacity assessment" arrived from. Almost every part of it was described in Killén's material.
Last week I cited journalist and social worker, Puk Sabber, who wrote that Killén's book "Child neglect is everyone's responsibility" is the absolute central book in the Danish social worker's education when it comes to the area of children. The same applies in Norway. A quick investigation shows that this seams to be the case for Sweden too. Finland I could imagine would be the same although I have not yet been able to find any evidence for that. At least in Denmark and Norway it is evident that everyone who studies to become a social worker is indoctrinated with Killén's way of thinking.
Phrases that you often hear as a parent from a social worker such as "I can understand that you are sad that you cannot take care of your own child, but she needs circumstances and conditions that you are not able to provide" are almost identical with concrete examples that Killén gives in her books.
"Herning modellen" is a model developed by the Danish city Herning. Many other Danish cities have adopted the model. The model aims to trace early signs of malfunction in families and intervenes against them. The model is clearly based upon Kari Killén's theories.
When Norway is trying to export its child welfare program to other countries quite aggressively, it is basically the concept of implementing Killén's theory into the legal system that they are trying to export.
During this week's Thursday letter, I have not done thorough analyses to prove my claims. I have merely introduced a number of areas where I see the influence of Killén's theories.
I could probably find even more. Killén's theories influence every part of the Danish child welfare system. Naming the Scandinavian child welfare system "Kingdom of Killén" is no exaggeration.
Kari Killén er et navn man før eller siden vil støde på hvis man forsøger at danne sig et billedet af hvad der foregår på anbringelsesområdet i Norge og Danmark. Således skriver Socialrådgiver, journalist og grundlægger af Socialforsvaret Puk Sabber i en kronik i Information:
"... Og hvilke metoder og indsatser bedømmer fagpersonerne forældreevnen ud fra
I svaret på det spørgsmål er fagbogen Omsorgssvigt er alles ansvar, som Kari Killen skrev i 1996, helt central. Den er en bibel på det sociale område i forhold til omsorgssvigtede børn. Samtlige socialrådgiverstuderende bliver indviet i Killens tankegang, der groft sagt går ud på, at man er nødt til at forebygge social arv ved at skille barnet fra dets biologiske ophav."
Hvem er hun så denne Kari Killén? Hvad går hendes teori ud på? Hvorfor er hendes tilgang så udbredt? Disse er blot nogle af de spørgsmål jeg har i forhold til fagbogsforfatteren Kari Killén.
At Kari Killén er Norsk finder man hurtigt frem til. At hendes teori benyttes i både den danske og den Norske socialforsorg tager heller ikke så lang tid af finde belæg for. Til gengæld er det underligt at jeg ikke kan finde en egentlig forfatterbiografi, som beskriver hendes opvækst, baggrund, teorier, publikationer, kritik, med mere.
Der er en del dokumenter som omhandler kurser med Kari Killén om omsorgsvigt. Disse dokumenter indeholder ofte en kort beskrivelse af oplægsholderens/forfatterens baggrund for eksempel:
"Kari Killén er socionom med videreuddannelse i børne- og ungdomspsykiatrisk behandling hos Bruno Bettelheim i USA og på Tavistockklinikken i London. Hun har skrevet en række lærebøger og fik i 1988 en doktorgrad for afhandlingen Omsorgssvigt og børnemishandling".
Titlen Socionom i Danmark i hvertilfælde betegner en form for socialrådgiver (bachelor uddannelse fra RUC som ikke længere findes)
I Steven Bennetts bog Stolen Childhood finder jeg dog en noget anden beskrivelse. Her citeres Killén for at fortælle at hun er sygeplejerske med speciale i børn (Pediatric nurse) og at hun har 40 års erfaring i sundhedssektoren (Stolen Childhood S. 169)
Nå jeg kunne altså ikke komme særlig dybt ned i hendes personlige baggrund, så jeg besluttede mig at prøve at få lidt indsigt i hendes teoridannelse ved at læse, hvad jeg kunne finde online, men så også ved at se nogle oplæg af hendes som var filmet og lagt tilgængelige online. Først og fremmest dette oplæg af en times varighed.
Min intention her var at give en nogenlund nøgtern gengivelse af Killéns teori og forståelsesramme, men jeg må dog erkende at dette er vanskeligt. Ved gennemsyn af videoen finder jeg hele hendes tilgang frastødende. Hele den situation som videon afspejler hvor Killén holder oplæg for en forsamling af fagfolk fra det social og pædagogiske område. Den tilsyneladende venlige og engagerede faglighed, de mange pointer hvor publikum medlevende klapper og griner i sin skærende kontrest med det underlæggende budskab om at der er et "os og dem". "Os" som er faglige og som kan se barnets behov og "dem " som er forældre og som ikke har den tilstrækkelige mentaliseringsevner til at kunne se de skader de forvolder på deres egne børn.
På overfladen ser oplægget og damen som holder det meget tilforladelige ud, men det paradigme som etableres er diskriminernde og uvedhæftigt.
Oplaget er ikke lavet som en logisk følgeslutning hvor den ene slutning leder videre til den næste. Det kan snares ses som spredte overvejelser og observationer vedrørende et emne. Jeg vil forsøge at fremdraget nogle centrale pointer sammenhæng ud af de spredte overvejelser i oplægget.
Hovedpointen i oplæget er at der er brug for en fælles tilgang i hele samfundet arbejde med udsatte børn. Socialarbejdere, skoler, sundhedsplejersker, bisidere og socialrådgivere skal have samme teoretsike forståelsesramme i arbejdet med udstte børn og deres forældre.
Der er nu gjort så meget forskning på området at man kan skabe en sådan fælles forståelsesramme som alle arbejder ud fra.
Denne forståelsesramme bør tage udgaspunkt i tilknytningsteorien som blev grundlagt John Bowlby i samarbejde med James Robertson i tresserne.
Killén mener tilknytningsteorien er så velegnet, fordi den samler både neorologisk og psykodonamiske perspektiver med de tilknytningsteoretiske og fordi den er meget velunderbygget forskningsmæssigt.
Hun mener at man igennem mange år har kunne observere og beskrive fysik vold og vandrygt, men at der er en type af psykisk skadelig adfærd som man ikke har været så opmærksom på tidliger og som ikke giver sig udtryk i synlige mærker på kroppen, men som mindst er lige så skadelig. Det handler om det psykiske tilknytningssvigt hvor forældren på grund af manglende mentaliseringsevner ikke formår at møde barnet mentalt på den måde som barnet har behov for.
Killén mener så at man via interview og samværsobservationer kan kortlægge en sådan type af adfærd og når man har kortlagt den kan man sætte ind med forskellige former for støtte til at afhjælpe dette tiknytningsproblem. Hun fremhæves her hvordan dygtige pædagoger og socialarbejder vil kunne hjælpe en sådan mentaliseringsmessigt mindrebemidlet forældre, med at reagere mere hensigtsmessigt på barnets behov. Hun beskriver også situatoner hvor hun ville anbefale en "omsorgsovertagelse" for at afhjælpe problemet.
Det siges ikke eksplicit, men det er en underliggende pointe at man kan tegne en profil over den "utilstrækkelige forældre" ved at se på dennes adfærd sammen med barnet og ved at få et overblik over forældrens historie og se om denne også har være udsat for "løs tilknytning" eller "tilknytningssvigt" i sin opvækst. Hvis denne har det så er det næsten sikkert at denne vil føre den tilknytningssvigtende adfærd videre.
Man kan altså kortlægge denne type af forældreadfærd som næsten sikkert vil fører til alvorlige problemer. Killén mener at man bør bruge den viden til i langt højrer grad kortlægge den type af adfærd og gribe ind overfor den. Enden med støtte til forældrene eller ved at fjerne børn fra forældrene og anbringe dem hos plejefamilier som formår at møde deres behov for tilknytning.
At høre Kari Killén fortælle om disse teorier giver meget genkendelse hos mig som har været udsat for at blive betragtet som en sådan "utilstrækkelig forældre" i det danske socialsystem. Det er tydeligt at de mennesker som har haft med min og min datters sag at gøre har været under indflydelse af Killéns model og tilgang.
Det er også tydeligt at den manglende evidens og den grundlæggende diskrimination, som jeg har oplevet i det danske systems tilgang er direkte korrespondernede med den samme manglende evidens og grundlæggende diskriminerende tilgang i Killéns eget teoretiske materiale.
Nogle af hendes eksempler er bemærkelsesværdigt banale. Hun beskriver for eksempel i flere oplæg hvordan et barn pludseligt kan reagere agressivt i børnehaven uden rimelig årsagssammenhæg i forhold til det som leder op til situatonen. Hun beskriver så at dette må ses som opsparet frustration over den manglende respons fra forældrens side. Den opsparede frustration vækkes til live af en duft eller en lyd eller en anden association i børnehaven, men det hænger i virkeligheden sammen med et problem barnet har i forhold til forældren.
En sådan forståelsesrramme er så forsimplet og tilfældigt at den er åben for et hav af mistolkninger på et helt usagligt grundlag. Samtidig bemærker jeg mig at denne tolkninsramme er særdeles velegned for personlaet i børnehaven til at give forældrene skylden for barnets adfærd i børnehaven.
Dette knytter an til en anden ting som springer mig i øjnene. Alle disse tilknytningsproblemer som observeres hos forældre må da også kunne finde sted hos inkompetente og eller selvotagede plejeforældre eller fagpersonale. Hvorfor beskræfter Killén sig ensidigt med forældresvigt, mens systemsvigt negligeres fuldstændigt?
Et andet dilemma er at man bruge tilknytningsterori til at gøre voldsomt indgreb i barnets tilknytning.
Det er tydigelig at tilknytningsterorien lægger meget vægt på barnets tilknytning til forældrene, men når der tales om "omsorgsorvertagelse" så inddrages der ikke overvejelser vedrørende det forhold at man klipper barnets primære tilknytning over i forventning om at kunne erstatte denne med en bedre tilknytning.
Det er tydeligt at Killén har skabet en teoridannelse som tillægger fagpersonale og plejefamilier stærke og positive egenskaber og som problematisere de biologiske forældres adfærd og tilknytning.
Er det mon dette der gør at socialsytemet og de børneprofessionelle har taget Killéns forståelsesramme til sig i så udpræget grad?
Har Killén haft øje for de den eksisterende konflikt imellem forældre til udsatte børn og socialarbejderen. Har hun kunne se en fordel i at skabe et material som hylder socialarbejderen og problematisere forældren?
